The golden rule for getting over an ex is no contact for at least one year. It may sound harsh but it’s effective.
You can not, not, not be friends with someone you just ended a relationship with, especially if you have been intimate. I know you will read this and think to your self that your relationship is different and I’m making a generalization because I don’t know the details of your relationship, however, IT WILL NOT WORK!!!
It doesn’t matter that the breakup is mutual there will always be lingering feelings, both good and bad. You may be able to cover up your emotions but the level of intimacy alone, will keep you connected. Not allowing you to meet anyone new.
• Throw out, give away or sell any gifts and possible traces of your ex. By keeping items you will be constantly reminded of this person. If the gift was sentimental, expensive or your favorite thing in the world it’s not worth keeping (except for kids and pets, can’t throw those out!).
• Erase their contacts from every gadget you have, phone numbers, emails, mailing list, caller id, networking sites and so on. Even if you have it all memorized at least you remove the traces. If you convince yourself that you don’t need to take this step (first sign of denial) I understand. It’s hard to let go but at least change the id name. Renaming your Ex something more appropriate like: Liar, Pathetic Loser or Annoying, you will begin to create the association. So when Pathetic Loser calls, you may be more reluctant to speak to answer.
• Do not initiate or accept any form of contact. Continuing to share personal information is counter productive. If they do not need to know then they shouldn’t know. Questions like: where are you? What are you doing? Who are you with? Is not their business and you shouldn’t provide answers.
• Do not party together. If you have mutual friends they should respect your space. Being in the same place will only be uncomfortable and may lead to jealousy and resentment.
• Do not try to remain friends. You are NOT friends! No matter how long you have been together or how much you have shared you are NOT friends and pretending to be friends will make you vulnerable, so why go there?
Getting over an Ex can be emotionally draining. You have to reject your own feelings and confront the loneliness that follow a break up. Although it may feel devastating while you go through it, in the long term you will be a happier person.