brought to you by 2chix 1blog , written by JenniFDB
Dating isn’t easy and first dates are known as the “Make-or-Break” dates….rightfully so! If you don’t leave a good impression now, then don’t expect to get a chance to redeem yourself. Because I care so much here are some tips from a true professional, aka me, to help you make the right impressions and secure your second date.
Men are very simple creatures these tips are always* guaranteed to work 😉
1) if he looks you in the eye and asks you what you are thinking, your reply should always be “I was just thinking about how sweet it would be to finger bang you all night long” then lick your finger and trail it across his cheek to show you mean business. You can then follow it up with a wink, but you can use your discretion on the wink.
2) if he offers you something alcoholic to drink say, “my doctor said I shouldn’t drink anymore while pregnant, but what the heck I’m not keeping it!” If he still lets you drink, this means he respects your decision making process, he is a keeper.
3) if he asks what your future goals are, always always answer “pimping, but it aint easy …especially with this recession”
4) don’t be afraid to say a quick prayer before dinner. This shows you have a deep spiritual understanding of the world. Just don’t forget to thank little baby Jesus for Bobby Brown; God’s musical gift to the world, and pray for Nay Nay’s baby daddy who just got locked up again for breaking curfew.
5) after dinner when the bill comes and he doesnt reach for the check right away, slide it over to him and say, ” you have to play to pay” this shows you have standards, men know this but some need verbal reinforcement. You are not a free ride.
6) at some point during the date, start making random referencing to his recent facebook activity that you just stalked off his profile. Show’s that you care and are interested in as a person.
7) finally at the end of the night, after that oh so important first kiss, whisper sweetly in his ear “you kiss better than my daddy”!
Ok honey, After tip 1 you should have him locked in already. But if at any point he acts up, pull out the pimp hand and shake him up a little. Men need constant verbal and physical reinforcement.
Love and lollipops.
*all successful unions created using JenniFDB's patented dating tips must name their first born child after Jenni or buy her 40 ounces of malt liquor.